I’m just fascinated by the word love. I can’t get over how strange it is that in the English language we use the same word to describe our feelings towards pizza, our best friend, our pet, God, and then the man we marry.
The Greeks had it figured out — they recognized the various forms that love takes.
Eros is a love that is passionate and intimate. A married woman might describe her love for her husband as a mix between eros and agape.
Storge is the love that is felt from the bond between family members.
Philia is the brotherly love. One might use philia when they talk about their feelings towards their best friend, the hurting people of Haiti, or for their job or hobby. I have a philia for cheese pizza, for example … mmm!
Agape is the highest form of love. It’s unconditional. It’s “true love.” It’s the unchanging love between a husband and a wife or unchanging love a parent has for her child.
When I turned 16 my parents gave me a True Love Waits ring. I loved it! I never needed that symbol in my possession to keep me from making a bad choice, but there was something so special about looking down at the finger that would someday wear an engagement ring and see my promise to my husband there. It reminded me not to get jaded when a dating relationship would end. It reminded me to pray for my future husband. And it reminded me that I was valuable — a treasure — and that I shouldn’t compromise anything for anyone.
When I realized that Josh was the man I was going to marry, I was so thankful that on my wedding day I was able to look in my new husband’s eyes and stand before God having never compromised my standards. And I was even more thankful that I had a man who shared my convictions and never pushed me into anything and also held those values.
In your dating relationships, be sure that you aren't compromising your desires and that you are constantly in open communication with God. There are two verses I am going to share with you, and in every relationship you should ask yourself: Is the guy I am interested verse #1 or verse #2? If he's #1 steer clear, if he's #2 see where the relationship goes!
Verse #1: 1 Corinthians 5:11 (NLT)
Verse #2: Colossians 3:12 (NLT)
Use your knew-found knowledge of the different words for love and spend some time thinking about the things in your life that you love, and the people in your life that you love.
In your journal make two columns. In the first, make a list of qualities that you want in a crush or boyfriend, and in the second make a list of qualities that are absolutely necessary in a boyfriend.Does the guy you like meet up to the list? Does your boyfriend have positive qualities? Since I am married I will be skipping this journal entry, but will leave you with an example! (my sister's list!)
My wants:
-country/southern accent
-plays an instrument
-has money
My Needs:
-close relationship with God
-family oriented
-attractive
I wanted to add that if you have already made mistakes in relationships with the opposite sex-it's not too late for you to share these values and beliefs. I made mistakes along the way to finding Josh, but I was forgiven and made new. God is forgiving, and is constantly renewing us. Just move forward, and try to focus on what you really want in your relationship. Jesus says that if we confess our sins that He is faithful and just to forgive. (1 John 1:9)
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