Are you attractive?

I asked my husband to think back to the time before we were married, and he was in the dating scene. I asked what the top qualities that attract him to a girl were. He replied, "confidence, sense of humor, personality, appearance, loyalty, and cares about what she does."

I was delighted to know that he put more importance on behaviors and personality characteristics rather than physical attributes. Of course, appearance matters, but beyond the initial attraction he looked for more of who the girl really was. Thankfully, I fit at least some of those qualities-because he chose me! :)

When a guy gets to know you, does he find you unattractive?
Unattractive girls...

Are teases. Read 1 Corinthians 8:9 (NLT) and Ephesians 5:3 (NLT). This is such a big deal, because a tease arouses curiosity. A tease wears clothes that are revealing enough to peak a guy's interest. A tease acts suggestively in the things she says and does. Whether she is consciously teasing or not, it's dangerous for the guys around her. A guy might be intrigues initially by a tease, but eventually they will become frustrated.

Lack ambition. Read 1 Thessalonians 3:11 (NLT). Believe me, I take time to do nothing and veg out in front of the tv. Life gets crazy sometimes, and you just need a moment to catch your breath. But, typically when you feel you need that time it's because you've been so busy during the rest of your week, you need a break. What's dangerous, is a lack of productivity and ambition. It is not an attractive quality. A guy isn't going to find it cute that you haven't done your homework for three days or that you can't make it to work on time. They'll quickly get tired of seeing that you never offer to clean up, or take the initiative to get involved in school or church. It's really easy to fall into sin when you aren't busy doing something else.

Have a potty mouth. Read Ephesians 5:4 (NLT) Here's a test: If you would be embarassed if a two year old, or worse your grandma, heard the words that you use, then you should find a different way to express yourself. If you wouldn't tell the joke to your grandma, keep your mouth shut. Your lips were created by God to praise Him and help others. We are so quick to gossip or curse, we forget to praise Him with our words. Read James 3:10 (NLT)

Are prideful. Read Matthew 23:12 (NLT). Lots of girls feel the need to be the center of attention, all the time. We all have our moments where we deserve to be, and there's nothing wrong with being confident and speaking up when you have something to share! But, we need to be careful with how we conduct ourselves. Pay attention to the conversations you have today. Are you interrupting people's stories so you can speak? Are you trying to tell stories that "trumps" another person's story? Do you find yourself constantly needing to add something to every single conversation? You may not even realize you're doing it, but these actions make you appear prideful.

Okay, don't freak out if you just realized that you fall into one or all of these categories. Breathe. I fit most of them at one time or another, and I would imagine that most women do. Don't feel bad. Sometimes, we don't even realize how we are coming across to others until it is brought to our attention. Or, maybe you are aware of it, and are working on it. That's okay.

Numerous examples are running through my head of times when I was unattractive. I talk over people, I try to "trump" people's stories, I get lazy from time to time, in high school I was a serious tease, I use curse words from time to time, etc.

Let's make a commitment to being attrractive, and let's work on kicking these unattractive qualities to the curb.

In your journal, write down some examples of you being "unattractive" in regards to the above qualities. Now, write down at least 5 ATTRACTIVE qualities that you possess. Think of some ways we can get rid of these ugly attitudes and behaviors, and some ways we can increase our attractiveness. :) Ask God to help you stop acting on these unattractive qualities.