Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Boo-Boo!

I know that my previous entry stated we were going to be talking about how to honor our parents. This entry is going to be off that track, but don't worry-we'll get right back on it tomorrow. I feel this entry needs to happen, and I hope God uses it to encourage you.

When I was little my sister, my cousin Tiffany, and I had a club at my grandmother's house. Girl's ONLY! Tiffany's older brother Matthew and his friends (one of which I am now married to!) used to come over and bother us by teasing us, pulling our hair, and making fun of us. Matthew would grab our hair and scream, "Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Boo-Boo, Stick Your Head in DOO-DOO!" At the time, I thought this was as bad as bullying gets. We would cry and run inside and tell our grandmother, leaving her to do our dirty work. Now, I know that we were just being silly and my cousin and his friends were joking with us. But, that is not my only experience with being bullied or bullying someone else.

In middle school my best friend and I were insperable. We went everywhere together, and none of our other friends ever saw one of us without the other. We called ourselves (and still do) "Ultimate BFs". I am happy to say that we are still very close, but there was a brief time in middle school that we were enemies. We had drifted apart, and started having different friends. My ultimate BF started hanging around girls that enjoyed making fun of me. She never stood up for me, never apologized for their words, and eventually stopped hanging out with me completely. During that time her friends called me names that I won't repeat, spread rumors about me, and pushed me around in the halls of our school. It wasn't until my ultimate BF was hurt by them as well that she and I reconciled. That was a truly difficult time for me. I felt alone and scared and hurt.

Later on, in high school I started my first job. I was the only girl that worked there, and it never bothered me until one night when we were closing, one of the guys that worked there slammed me against a wall, held me down, and touched me. He pulled my hair and called me horrible names. He then made me get in his car, and he locked the doors. I was scared, and crying. I managed to unlock the door and get to my car without him saying anything or doing anything. I didn't tell anyone. I quit my job, but never told anyone the real reason. I didn't tell because I was afraid, embarassed, and honestly-I thought it was my fault. Years and years later, I finally told my husband because I had seen this guy out somewhere in town. I saw him and literally ran away. Still, after all these years this guy made me afraid. My husband comforted me, and encouraged me and fought back his urge to kick that guys butt. I was hurt, scared, broken, and it was only after I told my husband that I was able to move on.

Bullying is a big deal. I know, I know-it's become somewhat of a fad for adults to discuss bullying, and push those posters about anti-bullying in your face every other week. But, seriously-bullying is a problem, and we're not only going to discuss what it means to be bullied, or bully someone-but also what God says about it.

Perhaps you’ve watched a friend be bullied at school or maybe you’ve even been bullied yourself.
In the past few months, it’s become pretty clear that bullying is a major issue for teens today. Some girls have been bullied to the point of sustaining major emotional and physical trauma and even committing suicide.
Bullying is abuse. Typically, bullying can be categorized as emotional, verbal, or physical abuse. It typically involves subtle methods of manipulation. Victims of bullying suffer in many ways including emotionally, physically, and academically. Though it can be a very painful and difficult experience it is, unfortunately, all too common. About one in five students feels bullied at some point during their school years.

Bullies can target their victims for just about any reason. It can be because of your faith, the color of your skin, because you wore a sweater you bought from a garage sale (which I do quite proudly and frequently now), or simply because you were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

When you’re being bullied, it can feel like there’s really nothing you can do to stop it. Going to school can become dreadful. It can feel like you’re all alone in the world. However, it can also help you discover who your true friends are – the ones who will stand beside you when you have a bad day and will stand up for you when you need it.

I am sad to say that I have been a bully. Many of you know some of those stories and experiences, and I know that most, if not all of you have bullied someone else. Here's what the Bible says about bullying:

Read Leviticus 19:18 (NLT)
Read Psalm 34:12-18 (NLT)
Read 1 John 2:9 (NLT)
Read Romans 2:1 (NLT)

God says a lot about how He feels when we bully one another. He is hurt, dissapointed, and tells us that we will have consequences for the way we treat others. This is something I struggled with for a long time-all through middle and high school. It's so easy to judge others, it's easy to pick on them, it's easy to make jokes at their expense, it's easy to make others feel bad in order to make myself feel good. God hasn't called me to live a life of ease. He has called me, and you, to live a life that honors Him.

Read Ephesians 5:8-11 (NLT)

We were once living in darkness and evil and sin, but now-now we live in the light of the Lord. As Christians, God has called us to turn away from sin and do what is good, right, and true.

Unfortunately, I have also been on the other end of bullying, as I'm sure many of you have. I have been hurt, broken, scared, and alone because someone treated me with disrespect, a judgemental attitude, and harsh words or actions. Bullying hurts. Truly. What encouragement can God offer me when I'm being bullied? Not only does God tell us offer encouragement, but He tells us how to handle the people who are bullying us.

Read Philippians 4:4-7 (NLT)
Read Psalm 34:12-18 (NLT)
Read Psalm 18:3 (NLT)
Read Matthew 5:38-39 (NLT)
Read Matthew 5:43-48 (NLT)
Read Romans 12:19-20 (NLT)
Read 2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT)

God calls us to love and forgive the people that bully us. He calls us to show them compassion, and to show understanding. This is so hard, and may feel like God's asking you to do something ridiculous. But, God also promises that He will hold the bully accountable, the bully will receive consequences, and that He will support and comfort you in times of trouble.

While the Bible tells us what we should do in both situations to please and honor God, you may still have questions about making the bullying stop for you and your friends. If you are being bullied talk to an adult that you trust who can help make the bullying stop. If you see someone being bullied, don't just stand there! Say something! Bullying happens because people who know that it is wrong do nothing to stop it, or we are too afraid to tell someone who can help us.

How do you know you are being bullied?
If you are worried or afraid of going somewhere or seeing or talking to a certain person/people because of the way they make you feel due to them hitting you, calling you names, or forcing you to do things you don't like, then you are being bullied.

In your journal, write about a time you were bullied or you bullied someone else. How did it make you feel? What did the people around you do? How did you handle the situation? After reading what God says about bullying, how do you feel? What are some ways we can stop bullying in our community? If you are being bullied-please tell me so that I can help you.