I've been sitting at the hospital now for six hours, waiting on my grandfather to have his bypass surgery & recovery. During the waiting time today my father and I have had a lot of time to chat. We started talking about our relationship, and how our family works. We were remembering times of frustration in the past and how our relationship has changed. Today's entry is all about respecting and relating to your parents.
It's not a surprise to anyone that knows me that I was grounded fairly frequently. I didn't have a rebellious heart, I just made mistakes from time to time. Careless, irresponsible mistakes. There was a process to my grounding. I did something wrong, I got "the look" from my dad, and promptly heard, "Go to your room!" from my mom. Of course, it didn't end there. But, that's the way it always started.
From my experience, there are ten things that are almost always the reason for an argument between parents & their children.
10. Keeping your room in a way that looks as if a tornado went through and left nothing but debri behind.
9. Using the word "like" every other word, or speaking in pig latin or jibberish. (My dad despises jibberish.)
8. Having disrespectful friends.
7. Getting distracted from school and homework.
6. Abusing curfew or other set rules.
5. Dating boys that do not value themselves, you, or your family.
4. Skipping out on family time to be with friends.
3. Text messaging during church/family meals/conversations/school.
2. Leaving out important details/not telling the whole truth.
1. Having an attitude.
(note: $700 cell phone bills will aslo result in arguments. Also, my dad wanted me to include "head-wagging" is infuriating.)
:)
Read Exodus 20:12 (NLT)
Notice that this verse is not a "If you do this, then _______ will happen." It's a command. Honor your parents. A command that has a great reward!
Read Ephesians 6:1-3 (NLT)
God promises us, as children, that if we honor our parents, "things will go well for us, and we will live long on the Earth." Just like God promises our parents if they direct their child in the right way, when they are older they will not leave it."
So, how do we relate to our parents, and make it till we're "older"?
Look at the list above, if you start twitching because you can remember a recent argument or full blown-out fight with your parents, start thinking about what you can do to change your attitude, speech, and thoughts to better honor your parents.
Do you fight about keeping your room clean? Honor them by respecting the money they have invested in the home they’ve created for you — at the end of each day bring any dirty laundry to the hamper and wash your clothes! If you don’t have time or energy to put away your clothes, at least lay them over the back of a chair instead of continuing to walk over them.
Do you fight about your cell phone usage? Honor your parents by putting your phone on silent and keeping it in your purse during dinner to show that you value your time with them and the meal they’ve provided.
And if you fight about your attitude, which all of us girls are guilty of generously dishing out, honor your parents by taking a deep breath before you speak so you have a second to analyze the tone of voice you’re about to use and the sentence you are about to say. Does it sound respectful? If someone spoke to you that way would you think they were a brat or would you appreciate their answer?
Above all else remember that you and your parents are all individuals trying to love and live under the same roof. There will be times when you’re on the same page and times when you can’t see eye to eye at all. But knowing what frustrates your parents will help you make better choices in showing them that you love them! Though it is difficult to cope with at times, God has called you to be under the authority of your parents. Are you doing all you can to fulfill that calling in a way that would please God?
In your journal write about a time you dishonored/disrespected your parents. Write about what changes you could have made to better honor them. Ask God to help you have the self-control to pause before speaking/arguing with your parents. Thank Him for the guidance and love your parents give you.
Oh, the choices I have. One time, when I was about your age, my mom made me so very angry (I have no memory of why) but I was angry (and stupid) enough to call her a b*tch. She was so hurt and frustrated, she drew back and slapped the side of my face. I was incredibly disrespectful, and I hurt my mom's feelings to the point that she felt the need to slap me. That's a big deal. Looking back, I am embarassed that I ever even mentioned that word and my mother in the same sentence. I should have paused for a moment, realized that it didn't matter what the argument was about or if she was right or not...she is my mother, and she was my authority. I should have stopped and let it go.
ReplyDeleteGod, thank you so much-from the bottom of my heart-for my parents. I look around at my friend's parents, even my husband's parents, and I know how You have blessed me. Please forgive me for ever disrespecting them. Even now, as an adult, I need help to have self-control when speaking with my parents and grandparents. I know that You can help me with this. I love you. Amen.